Her or Me

Inside of me dwells a demon

It pushes me into danger

Impartial of consequences

But I know the possibilities

So I push it back.

Claws leave bloody tracks where it clings to me

I smile at its suggestions

But I can't give in

I can't act

So I keep fighting the demon

It will never leave me

It is a part of me.

A repressed, frustrated, relentless, woman

Who wants to play rough

Wants to press boundaries

Wants to feel passion.

Now I know I love the demon.

The inner me.

At times I wish

I could be her.

But I can't hurt anyone.

So she stays away

Hidden from a world that her

brashness would crack.

She's too much for it.

Too much for me.

She inches her way to the surface

And I manage to bury her back

Under decorum and empathy.

Put my care for others before her.

It's been rare

But she has slipped out.

And those secrets remain safely tucked away

In my memory.

They are a part of my starving soul.

She will need to be sated soon.

I don't know how long the struggle will last.

The inner demon.

Me.

We are one.

I will need to be sated soon.