There's Always Pain

When there’s no undoing

When there’s no escape

The air is thin

You can’t catch your breath

Like when the wind slams at your face

Like when the air’s so cold your throat seizes

At the same time, the air is thick

Still, you can’t catch your breath

Like when you’re running or working hard on a hot day

Sweat can’t even cool you down

Because the very air–warm and sticky–clings to your flesh

You gasp

Choke

Swallow

The hot, wet air

Both those feelings at once.

You can’t breathe, can’t fill your lungs, can’t expand your chest

Because Regret and Grief have mingled.

They’ve made a bed together

A bed born of horror

Of pain

Of deep, humiliating shame

The bed is you

You–

Born of sin

Born of ugliness

You–

And you’re trapped in it

Regret

What could you have done?

So many tiny decisions

So many small, insignificant choices

Led to this

What if one were different?

What could have changed in the chain of sorrowful events?

Why can’t you turn it off?

Grief

Grief has claws–hooked and jagged

Pulling you down

Fangs

Swallowing you up

Struggle

Struggle

But, there’s nothing you can do

Struggle

But, it’ll only tighten its grip

so stop.

Stop.

Stop the struggle

Stop the fight

Let go

Feel it

The shame

The anguish

The worst of them all–the regret

There’s nothing you can do

By design

There’s nothing you can do because

They’re part of you

–part of us all

Humans

Our experience is FEELING

Feeling

Always feeling

Drowning, then surfacing

Feeling

Comfort

Small joys

Feeling

Feelings

More still

Happiness

Love

Pride

To feel one, we must feel them all

The worst of them

To have to best of them

We’re only human

And because we’re human we endure

We ache and shatter

We mend and love

We laugh and cry

We learn and survive

We embrace it all

Embrace each other

We can’t cut the experience apart

Can’t sever the bad for only the good

It's all or it's nothing

Because we’re more than each individual feeling

We’re human